I used to like the idea of being a tiger under a pig's skin. Now although i still buy that idea, but at a different price. I would prefer a tiger under a dog's skin.
I realised these kind of thing slowly becomes a part of a person when it's done too many times, which i don't think anyone would fancy the idea of being a pig at all. Skin changing process takes time, effort and patience.
What i meant by skin here is impressions.
The impression we give others is analogical to the skin on our body. It is the first important organ that could be seen well by others. Impressions work the same: it is the first important mind set that is set in others.
And why is impressions so important?
First, it is the main source of attraction. If let say a restaurant appear dirty, messy and unkept, would you still go in and try their food eventhough they claim that their food is clean and delicious? If a person appears confident, assertive, and smart and you are a boss building up a management team for a high fly company, would you not hire him? If a girl is refined, well-kept, pleasant, polite and beautiful (to most guys), would you not be attracted to ask her to be your friend or even your girlfriend?
Welcome to the real world.
Impressions are like a travel passport. Without it, you can't go anywhere. The food in the restaurant might be very very delicious, but people are turn off right away by the sight of it. Although you might say they are being denied their own opportunity to try the best sanwich in town, but people wont bother as there are millions of good food out there. And I would say, the impression the restaurant gave others is denying themselves a chance to prove that their food is delicious.
Going for an interview and winning a job is very much depend on the impressions you gave the interviewer the first 15 minutes you are with them. The tiny little actions you do tells a lot about you as a person. The way you knock the door, the expressions on your face, the way dress up, the way you walk, sit and talk all plays an important part in sketching the impressions they put on you.
A scenario: If you walk into the room and before you say anything, you tripped over the chair and the files in your hand are now scattered on the floor and you clumsily pick them up and realise you missed out your most important certificate... this does not give a very good impression, does it?
Creating a good impression is a passport for people to know you more. This is called the attraction. If you appear so unrefined OR your name has been tarnished so badly by others, do you think others would still have interest to know you more eventhough you might be perfect inside?
Not giving a good impression to others is our own loss because we are denying ourselves the opportunity for others to know more about our good. It's our responsibility to build this good impressions and keep improving them. You will never know how long this first impression will last!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Father Forgets
There are things I was thinking: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things.You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as your started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved your hand and called, "Goodbye Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As i came up the road I spied on you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There are holes in your stockings. I humiliated you in front of your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive--and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it that you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck, and kissed me, and your arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect cannot wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, shortly afterwards my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding--this was my reward to you for being a boy. I was not that I did not love you, it was that I expected tii nuch of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heard of you was as big as dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matter tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt here, ashamed!
It was a feeble atonement, I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy--a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
W. Livingston Larned
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