Sunday, May 09, 2010


These few days, I was and am feeling pretty down with a melancholic feeling. I guess it was the time in London that has reminded me of much of my sweet memories of the past, of being able to spend lots of quality time just chatting the night away with my closest friends.

I guess all the time that I have spend way too much time over here in Germany alone, more than 4 years to be exact. While I also have German friends, they are never the same with my close friends who are now scattered all over the world, with their own business to deal with. 

I so miss the times when I was doing my A-levels in INTEC. That time, even if my schedule was sometimes hectic at times, being with my friends totally made up for it. That time, we ate together, laughed together, studied together, went for outings together, and chatted away the night until sunrise together. Needless to say I savored and enjoyed almost every moment of it. To add to that, I have also met Jen in INTEC as well.

It has been quite a number of years since I left INTEC, and embarked on a journey to Germany to continue my studies and get my first degree. The experience has been unpleasant at the least. I have not been able to integrate myself properly into the society here, and have spend most of my times alone. Having most of my best friends from the other programs in INTEC didn't help as well, since I am not close to all of them. 

The experience can be considered as harrowing at the very least. I realized that I have not been the ultra optimistic and happy-go-lucky person that I was in INTEC. It is said that loneliness can eat away one person slowly from the inside. I became moody, and became settled down with depression. The worst part of it is, I have lost my optimism totally. Any kind of advise that I get, I counter with probable negative results and why it can't be done. I probably shouldn't be surprised if I ended up with no friends now...

They say that true friends will stick around through bright and dark times. I have my friends to thank for sticking with me all this while. You guys were fantastic in your support. There are almost always ears to for me to speak into when I need it the most. I may have lost my mind if not for you, and probably somewhere in the netherworld already. Well, here's my big thanks! Thanks to all of you for being there! Thanks for everything!

Special mention to Jen, for still sticking around despite all my negativity, and for being there to push me up, and for lending an ear whenever I need to sleep, despite her heavy schedule. Well, you just see, I am going to be better than the 1 million guys in the line!

Before I end this post, here's a particularly sweet song by Kymm and JJ that happened to one of my favourite songs at the end of my time in INTEC:



  1. But you have made it through to the end, and let's hope you have a fresh beginning from now on. :)

  2. I agree with Chang Yang.

    You will take time to walk out of the misery you're feeling. I am positive about it. The mood graph always has its high and low and you just happen to be at the low part, waiting to bounce back up.

    Add oil!! 你可以的. =)

  3. Thanks guys, your words really mean a lot to me here. I may just survive through all this. It'll mean that I am not going to continue with my masters even if my degree is only recognized as a diploma in Malaysia.

    p/s: day-dreamer, you have locked me out of your blog :P

  4. Nice to see that you're back to blogging!

    I'm glad to see that whatever depression you were in, you are determined to push it away now... Life might not be easy sometimes, but you can get through it! :)